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Sticky Learning Lunches #32: Learn How to Effectively Prepare for a Negotiation – Step 1
Use this 3-Step Template to Effectively Prepare for a Negotiation.
You Can Read the Full Transcript Below:
Nathan Simmonds:
Good afternoon. Wonderful people. Lot of enthusiastic faces and names popping up. Colin, great to see you Fabian. Thank you very much for being here. Janine, Karen, good to see you again, Vicki, fantastic to see you vj. Thanks for being here. Just looking down the list as people arrive. Just gonna give it a couple more seconds while people are arriving. Good afternoon. Darren got three days of negotiation. Concepts and ideas.
Nathan Simmonds:
You can tell when people get fired up about these ideas ’cause they’ve turn up early. Feel the need to before they get the best seat in the house. And as you’re working from home, you already have the best seat in the house. So before we do this, give a few more seconds while the last few people are arriving. As always, mobile phones, let’s zero out the distractions. Let’s make sure you’ve got a hundred percent attention on what you are doing today on yourselves and your thinking and development. Making sure you’ve got a drink available as well. Keeping hydrated. Good afternoon, Stuart. Petra, great to see you. Tim, thank you very much for being here. Gina, great to see you again. Last couple of people.
Nathan Simmonds:
Just while we’re waiting for the last few people in, I go, I’m gonna start today’s session with a few questions. We’re gonna be looking at a few things of how much training, if you’ve had any if you have had negotiation training, how much, how many hours of negotiation training have you had in relation to your job? So I’m gonna be asking a few of these questions when we start today’s session. Kind of get a flavor for what you guys know, don’t know and start to see how potentially there’s a bit of a gap there in the amount of training we have to the amount of time we actually spend doing these things in the real
Nathan Simmonds:
Good. Let’s do this everybody fresh page in your notepad, pens at the ready, at the top of that page, you’re gonna write keepers and those, those are gonna be the things that you wanna remember, keep hold of and kind of reignite that thinking when you go back to when you finish reading these notes. Okay? So get that fresh page ready to get your fresh thoughts on there. Unless to get into today’s session, welcome to today’s Sticky learning lunch with me, Nathan Simmons, senior leadership coach and trainer for MBM Making Business Matter, the home of Sticky learning.
Nathan Simmonds:
And we are the leadership development and soft skills provider to the grocery and manufacturing industry. I do with these sessions is to give you 20 minutes of micro learning that’s gonna help you be the best version of you in the work that you do in the moment right now while you are working from that and preparing you to return back to work in the best possible way. Today’s session and the next two sessions after this, so it’s gonna be Friday and then Monday is all about negotiation skills and working in the grocery industry.
Nathan Simmonds:
There’s a hell of a lot of negotiations going on for me though. I wanna start this with a bit of a question. The question I’ve written down here for you is what do you consider to be a negotiation? What sort of things do you think for yourself are negotiations? And I wanna see what your thinking is and where your thinking is on these things. What do you think is a negotiation gain? A positive outcome? Yeah. Any interaction between two people can be, yeah,
Nathan Simmonds:
Bargaining, win-win. Good. We’re getting some good ideas. Always looking for the win-win situation if we can. Karen? Yeah. And we bargaining it is an interaction between two people. Negotiation, persuasion, and influencing are all similar. Yes they are. And there are elements that we switch onto those things that different points in the, in the, the dynamic of the dialogue. Thank you Colin. Just reminded me. Get on the full screen. There we go. Reaching a compromise in some cases. Yes Howard, it is about reaching a compromise.
Nathan Simmonds:
It’s trying to work out what the best solution is for everybody at any given situation at any given point in time. And sometimes there has to be that given and take. So what we’re gonna cover through the course of, he says, lemme go back to that first question. I’ve already got some answers. My next question for all of you is, how many hours of training have you had in negotiation skills in relation to the amount of years that you’ve been doing that inside your job,
Nathan Simmonds:
Neil? Zero. Zero for every occasion that we need to use Infl. Yeah, absolutely. Point zero zero five. That’s very precise. 1% not enough. Good. It’s a lot of really brutally honest responses in here and I’m glad you’re all here to learn some of these concepts. One, and this is the problem. So then is there any wonder why we find negotiations difficult? Is there any, you know, is there any wonder why when we think that we need to go and negotiate some something that we may not get what we want and we feel like we may be losing?
Nathan Simmonds:
Yes or no? Is this how some of us are feeling when we are thinking about that we have to go and negotiate something? Yes. Emotions get in the way. Absolutely. And we’re gonna talk about emotions date. Yes, yes, yes, absolutely. We feel under prepared underqualified and under stress to go and get those things done. We get stress put on us by our managers, our leaders or whatever if we’re going to, if we are buying or or selling a product or whatever or negotiating on prices and then we feel under prepared because we don’t quite know what we need to do and then we feel underqualified because we actually haven’t had the training or the support to actually make that happen in the best possible way.
Nathan Simmonds:
So the moment that says someone, someone says, oh, you need to go and negotiate or you need to negotiate this. What sort of emotions come up for you? What sort of thoughts come up for you? I’m not sure that word is an emotion current and it wasn’t an expletive. It’s like, ah, I think that’s kind of an, an outcome of an emotion that goes with this win-lose or walk away. So we started to see as this this win-lose walk away thing. So we’re starting to feel the kind of this pulling away almost.
Nathan Simmonds:
But the good thing in what you’re saying there is we’re starting to break down some of the things that we need to be thinking about when we go into a negotiation. Often the biggest challenge we have when we talk about negotiation is we’re concerned that it may end in conflict that are our needs won’t be met. And actually, when you go back to the root cause of any conflict situation, it is based on the fact that either one or both parties believe that their needs are not being met any and every conflict situation.
Nathan Simmonds:
So whether it’s someone’s upset and they’re calling their contact center or their mobile phone provider because something’s wrong with the terms and conditions or you go all the way up to full blown war, it’s because one or both parties, whether on an individual or or geographical level believe their needs are not being met. So when we think about negotiation, we feel like we might have to compromise. We feel like maybe someone has to lose out or that maybe we have to walk away. So we start to get these, these negative connotations and these emotions start to come up.
Nathan Simmonds:
So they’ve got, coming, coming through here, depending on who it will be with, can be through a full spectrum of enthusiasm to fear. Absolutely. Why? Because the other person on the other side of the table may come with some emotional biases. So when we look at things like the apprentice and these people say, yeah, I’m in a cutthroat and I’m a shark and I’m this and that, and you think of people slamming their hands on the desks and all these sorts of things, that’s not negotiation, that’s just rude. When we look at the negotiation, one of the key things that breaks down any relationship or any dialogue is the emotion and mindset we have before we even get there.
Nathan Simmonds:
You have to be quick thinking on the spot Sometimes yes, sometimes yes. So the idea of this session and the next two sessions, and I’ve got it written down here to make sure that I’m prepared, is to give you some of the core thinking and some of that preparation that’s gonna help you to think a bit clearer. It’s gonna give you a structure and a dynamic where you can get your thoughts down on paper and, okay, well what is it I need?
Nathan Simmonds:
What is it I want? What am I willing to give? What do I want to take away from this? And how am I gonna make that happen? How many of you in this group right now do some really clear preparation before you go into a negotiation? Yes or no? Are you preparing yourselves before you go into a negotiation? Yes. Good ish, yes, but need to do more honest. I like it.
Nathan Simmonds:
Yes, if I’m aware it’s gonna happen, not enough. So we’ve got a mix through responses. We know we need to do more. If I know, if I’m aware it’s gonna happen. Not enough. The the negotiation idea we use, it’s a framework, it’s a way of thinking and it gives you some structure so that even if you are not prepared, at least you can hang a couple of pegs in the right places while you are having the conversation and having to think on the spot. So what we use, and I’m gonna share my screen with you, is partly what we’re gonna teach you over the next two days, primarily mindset.
Nathan Simmonds:
Today, tomorrow is gonna be more about the structures and how we get into that is what we refer to as a square dance. This is a model concept that was built by Darren, the founder of MBM. And it’s just thinking about the, the negotiation skills and techniques and the elements that need to be incorporated into the way we work and the way that we think when we’re approaching this. Because we don’t do enough preparation. And often the preparation that we’re told to do is build a PowerPoint deck, put it up on a screen, talk about it and hope they go for it. Does this sound true to some people that are negotiating on prices certain and certain things in business? Put it on a deck, put it in front of them and get where you can.
Nathan Simmonds:
But actually, if we start to use a structure and build our communication, our conversation, okay, actually what is it I wish to get? What is it actually I walk away? What are my walkaways, what are my gives and takes my tradables? And what are the tools and tactics that I’m going to use to make that happen? So you can start thinking about the things that you’ve learned over however many years of business you’ve been doing this and make sure that you are putting those tools down on paper and thinking, right, okay, what questions am I gonna ask?
Nathan Simmonds:
What approach? How am I gonna use this? How am I gonna do that? How’s that gonna benefit me inside these tradables? Hope this is is useful from having a look at this. The idea is though, that before we go into these conversations, we need to be preparing some of the key negotiations. We have a job interviews. How much preparation do you do for a job interview?
Nathan Simmonds:
You are negotiating with someone else to give you a job. And we talked about sales before with Jeff Birch. Every day is a sales day. And if you are selling, there is a level of negotiation that’s always happening. Sometimes, you know, it is a difference between you having tea or coffee. So you have to sell yourself the tea or the coffee. Mm, which one would I prefer to have right now? What do I want to get out of this? A miniature negotiation. It sounds almost ridiculous.
Nathan Simmonds:
It’s true when you’re going for the job interview, you are negotiating with an individual and to help them see what you are capable of, what you want to get out this, what your wish is now, what your tradables are, what tools and techniques are you gonna use to make this interview work for you in your best favor. But as we some of the people pointed out there, we simply don’t get any training or enough training to help us build this, the dynamic of conversation. So for the next three days, including today, we’re gonna be looking at some of this structure today though majority is gonna be the mindset before we walk into it,
Nathan Simmonds:
Hope this is useful so far, where are we going to next? Getting my pens up. We’ve already got some ideas of what’s coming up for people’s thinking and approaches for when they’re walking into negotiations. Having a look at some of the articles that we’ve got on MBM for negotiation. One of the front pictures there is actually of a, of a white sh great white shark. Now we have to think about the mindset that we’re approaching it.
Nathan Simmonds:
If we’re walking into a negotiation with the kind of almost the spirit and energy of a great white shark, what are we gonna be giving off? What sort of dyna demeanor are we gonna be sharing in that audience? If we’re gonna be, you know, thinking we’re some sort of great white shark on a hunt, what do you think is gonna be coming across aggression? Absolutely. And while I’m doing that, I’m just gonna grab a link to one of the articles. I’m gonna share it in the chat box.
Nathan Simmonds:
I’ve just shared the link for the negotiation preparation article where the square dance template is stored at the moment or is is available on there. Just so you’ve got that in the chat box. Just what we’re going through this part now. Now aggression, scary, aggressive, mean, and what I want will take it. Exactly. And how do you think this comes across to the other person? We start to already undermine the conversation because of our emotions that we’re walking into this.
Nathan Simmonds:
I’ve gotta be like this and I’ve gotta assert this and I’ve gotta do that. And boom, the conversation shuts down. Absolutely is no openness. Thank you very much, Fabian. So we have to think about the energy that we’re bringing. The first thing that we wanna understand is positioning Some of these concepts I may have told you about before. It’s relevant against negotiation. And it is necessary that we embed some of this thinking.
Nathan Simmonds:
The moment that you are in or you position yourself, whether it’s quantum, newtonian, astrophysics, it doesn’t matter the moment that you position yourself, you have to have something in a position to you, you have to have something to push against. So the moment I’m positioning myself, it’s it’s like a, a broom resting up against a wall is already an opposing force, which is stopping that thing from happening. So you are already creating a certain level of resistance. If I’m wrong or sorry, if I’m, if I’m in a, a complaint conversation, a complaint negotiation and I believe I’m right, what does that make to you?
Nathan Simmonds:
And I know what the response is gonna be to this. I’m right, you are wrong. Therefore, the conversation or the tone of the conversation, I take changes because I’m creating that opposition. The moment I position myself, I’m creating an opposing force, an opposition, which is gonna work against me or push against me. So we have to start thinking about how we position ourselves in the conversation. The second thing we have to think about is importance. And what I mean by this is how we put importance onto things.
Nathan Simmonds:
So this is when we start getting into kind of the shark idea and these behaviors, ideas. If I start to put more importance on something, I start to adjust my emotions and my feelings about it. If this sale with this trade, something becomes really, really important to me, now what happens to my dollar? Imagine now you, your salesman and if you don’t make this sale, you’re gonna lose your job. If you don’t make this sale, you’re not gonna be able to feed your family extreme example. But what happens then is you start to ramp the importance up.
Nathan Simmonds:
What do you think happens? Open question to the audience. What do you think happens to your choice of language and the way that you approach it? If your importance starts to go up and you start to increase the pressure, what do you think happens to your conversation? Steely silence. Two things happen becomes forceful and demanding or desperate. Exactly this. When we increase the importance and the pressure goes up, regardless of what is happening behind the scenes, two things happen. We become needy or greedy.
Nathan Simmonds:
This then shifts our demeanor and the way that we’re approaching things and the way that we come across. Again, imagine you’re in that job interview and you’ve got one person that’s really nervous or you know, arrogant or too hy or whatever it is. ’cause They’re, they need the job ’cause they’re out of work at the moment now and they come across in these ways.
Nathan Simmonds:
Do we give them the job even though there’s some, you know, even though maybe we know they really need it, we don’t because it doesn’t feel good. We start to damage the relationship coming, coming in. There’s a reflection on those two words. What’s the top one? Needy. Let’s do that. That’s a little bit better. I need to get some soft lighting in here. When we increase the importance, we add pressure, the pressure then turns into needy and greedy.
Nathan Simmonds:
So our language then changes. And the way that we approach it becomes either forceful, aggressive or even kind of weak and simpering in that, you know, in, in that sense. And because we just want people to be know to like us and just to give us what we need. And we just want, we don’t wanna be a burden, we just wanna, all of these things condescending, come through. Absolutely. So it’s important we understand these things. One is positioning. Positioning yourself in a negotiation as being right there wrong. I’m gonna undermine them and do everything I can to undermine them. But that’s gonna create an external pressure.
Nathan Simmonds:
The importance increases the pressure when we become needy. And re the third thing we need to be mindful of also when we’re doing the negotiation piece before we even get into the, the strategy and tactics is our language. Language is hugely important when we’re in negotiation, all negotiations start in the emotions. And that’s, you know, it is whether you are who here has got children, yes or no? Who here has got children under the age of, or still got children under the age of seven or eight years old? And who here is negotiating with their children just to get ’em to bed at the moment?
Nathan Simmonds:
Because I know I am. It’s driving me nuts constantly. Absolutely. But then you have to be mindful of your emotions in position. I’m right, you are wrong. I’m 42. You are seven. It’s really important you go to sleep ’cause I’ve got things to be doing. I’ve got reruns of breaking bad to watch, so then suddenly become needy and gritty. But then because I’m needy and gritty, my language changes. You do this, I’m telling you, da da da da da. But what we can do is when we start to step out of this, so if our language starts to shift, are we dropping into these places?
Nathan Simmonds:
Okay, how do I shift my language to make sure I can change my, my approach If we are looking to be right and then wrong, we’re gonna damage the situation. One of the things that we can do is find value in what the other person is saying rather than constantly looking for the thing that where we can dismantle their argument or take their debate apart. We look for things to find value in. So we pay attention. One of the first things we need to be doing is listening. What is it you are hearing from them? Are you hearing that they’re needy and greedy? Are you hearing that they’re under pressure?
Nathan Simmonds:
Are you hearing that they’re trying to make you feel like you are the wrong party, which is causing your emotions to escalate? So we start listening to what they’re saying and we pick out the key points. And we find value in them. And in order to find value in them, we have to learn to appreciate things. Appreciation. I don’t know the original word comes from the Greek word to appraise. So it means like a jeweler, you can appraise how you know the quality of the gold you can appraise and value the, the, the workmanship that’s gone into the class that’s holding the diamond and the cut of the diamond.
Nathan Simmonds:
And you can see how much that’s worth. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you like wearing jewelry. And what I mean by this is, is you are listening, you’re picking up the key points and you can say, ah, I can, I really appreciate how that must feel. I can appreciate what that looks like. I can appreciate your point of view. Doesn’t mean I agree with you. I don’t have to say that. I can appreciate it from where I am. I can found find value in those things. This is what I hear
Nathan Simmonds:
I you saying these are the concerns I’m picking up. This is your interests, this is what your boss is asking for you to get out of this situation. And I want to help you achieve as much of that as possible within the guidelines that I’ve got so that we can both win out of this. So we listen, we pick up the key points, we find appreciation and and value and then tell them what we heard. Because what you can’t do, and there’s a couple of points in here that are really important. What you can’t do is I really appreciate what you’re saying, but, but what
Nathan Simmonds:
Is is what happens to everything you’ve said when the moment you say, but what happens to everything you said before it, it’s completely negated exactly that there is now everything you’ve said before doesn’t matter. Appreciate what you said but right, obviously you don’t appreciate what I’m saying. Now, the the the worst one that we often hear and we hear it from some politicians previously as well, I’m not a racist, but brilliant because the next words that come out of your mouth, they’re gonna be racist.
Nathan Simmonds:
It doesn’t matter what nationality or or heritage you’re talking about. What your amount to say is gonna be derogatory to somebody and that’s not okay. So when we are talking to people and you say, I really appreciate that, that’s it. Point out what you heard, pick up what you’re saying and then tie that into what it is you are talking about and how you are helping that person. One of the key things that I teach in here about appreciation,
Nathan Simmonds:
Especially in conflict management and complaint handling, one of the worst things you can say to someone is, I understand because truthfully you can never understand someone else’s point of view because it’s their point of view. My life is different to your life. You’ve got children, I’ve got, you know, boys, girls, different ages, different pastimes, different hobbies, different geographical locations, different ways of thinking.
Nathan Simmonds:
You can never truly understand what someone else’s point of view is. You can appreciate it though. So the moment you start saying things like, I appreciate or I understand, but what you’re saying is you don’t. And also when you say, I understand you, you can never do that anyway. So my key points kind of in this element is listen deeply, pick up the key points, show appreciation and find merit
Nathan Simmonds:
And what it is they’re sharing with you. So it then supports the rest of the conversation and the dynamic of where you want it to go to rather than trying to position yourself as right and then wrong, which is only gonna break the conversation. I hope this is useful. Yeah, I’ve covered everything I wanted to get give to you today on the emotional points and, and some of the languaging around negotiation. What’s been useful from today’s session. Apologies overrun there. I’ve got excited at the last part.
Nathan Simmonds:
What’s been useful from today’s session so far, just while that’s coming up, what have you taken away, what have you got written down on your keepers sheets from today’s session? The language prep. Yes, the structure, positioning, importance, language. Good. While you’re doing that, I’m just getting the link up for tomorrow’s session. Glad to hear it’s not just me who thinks it’s emotional. Every negotiation is emotional. Everyone and Vicky, I don’t know if you’ve got children, have children chosen, whatever.
Nathan Simmonds:
Yeah, every emo every negotiation especially at bedtime is emotional crier. What else have we got? Our behavior is important. Absolutely. One of the key things I learned when speaking to someone about complaint management before is what you think of people is how you treat them. And at the same time, one of the key things that I also train off the back of that is what you think of yourself is what you’ll achieve.
Nathan Simmonds:
So if I think I’m some, you know, predatory monster or shark that’s gonna go in here and devour everyone and get everything I need, what do you think I’m gonna get? I’m gonna get, you know, a kind of a scene of chaos. You know, imagine a shark and a feeding frenzy. Is that really what I wanna get out of this? Is that how I want to treat these people in this relationship? If I’m treat, if I’m thinking I’m a shark that’s gonna do this, what do I think of the people around me?
Nathan Simmonds:
Are there just a bunch of dead fish? So that behavioral part, the way, the way we focus our thing in vital appreciate and under and understand also positioning and its impact. Absolutely. The idea of stepping back nice, putting yourself in their shoes, IE emotions, where they’re coming from, et cetera. Absolutely this, what they see is gonna be different to you. You go into negotiation, you’ll lose you’ll lose, you win.
Nathan Simmonds:
Yeah. It, it is all about thinking that someone is gonna be, is gonna be worse off and that’s not the way to no come out with the idea is when we look at the the square dance, it’s gonna be give takes. They’re gonna be tradables gonna be things that we want, really want to get. And the things, you know, that’s it. I’m out and, and honoring that from an emotional point of view, I hope this has been useful to how do you approach. Good. Thank you very much for coming to the questions. How do you approach negotiation? It is really important. Without overly showing it, it is very important. It doesn’t make it less urgent or, you know, desired.
Nathan Simmonds:
I guess job interviews is one of those things or or getting a new client, you didn’t have them in the first place. You’re not losing anything often. I I, I had a conversation with a client this morning around career development. Whenever you go for a job interview, if you don’t get the job, you’re still winning. We go into these situations as if we feel like we’re going to lose something. You go into a job interview and know even if you don’t get the job, you’re gonna get phenomenal feedback and some some reflection on how to improve it next time you’re still winning.
Nathan Simmonds:
It was absolutely, Darren’s thrown a couple of comments in. He said be confident, be but not too needy. Absolutely. When we know also when we’re applying for that job, going for the sale, it’s like we know what we are bringing. If that person doesn’t want it from us, that relationship was never gonna work anyway. We are not losing ’cause we didn’t have it. So if we go in there for, with a level of confidence and knowing that we’re gonna help give to this person, we’re gonna contribute, we’re gonna add value to them, we stop acting like a shark, we stop going in there to kill. I’m going in here to give, I’m going in here to contribute.
Nathan Simmonds:
And if this person doesn’t want that, that’s also okay because that relationship would never would’ve worked in the first place. And you find still in certain business relationships where people have done that out of need and greed and they’ve been exploited and they never really felt good in the relationship. They never did their best work and their mental health suffered. Horrendously, horrendously from this. Has any, has anyone experienced this from a kind of a job point of view or from a contract point of view now working with the wrong people because you, you thought you needed it? No know from a place of need or greed, that relationship just never quite gels. You never, you know, it’s like the safety belt analogy. If it doesn’t click, it doesn’t work.
Nathan Simmonds:
Being aware of my state, I’m under pressure to bring it in by tomorrow and make sure I don’t come across it. Absolutely. And the more you feel that pressure, the more the, the primordial reptilian parts of your brain start to kick in and you just go into your four Fs, fight, flight, flock or freeze. And in a negotiation you cannot afford to be doing them. I mean, look how it ends through a zebra when they do any of those four things now when they’re being hunted down by a pride of lions, it’s not a, got a great way to work in new negotiations.
Nathan Simmonds:
Thanks Nathan. You can read my mind. That was, it was about a job. You’re welcome. You know, it’s one of my side skills. I don’t like to talk about it too often, but if I can, I’m, I’m happy to do the mind reading as well. In sales there is a pendulum effect that the more you push, the more they put away. Exactly. This kind of get into the whole Schrodinger’s cat kind of Eddie Isard type stuff, you know, it is, it is like the pendulum, the more you swing it, the more energy it actually pushes to pull it away. And as that pendulum then swings back, it’s gonna come back with twice as much force with that person asking for twice as much outta you.
Nathan Simmonds:
And if you’re not careful, you’re gonna get smacked in the face with the pendulum. It’s just, again, it’s not a pretty hook Hope this is useful mindset. Reduce the pressure, reduce the importance, be confident, pay attention to what the other people are looking for. Find appreciation here. What questions I’m conscious of time. What questions have you got for me right now around negotiation mindset and where we’re going? What questions have you got at this point in time?
Nathan Simmonds:
And when The cat analogy is, the more that you chase the cat, the less likely you are to catch it. Has anyone ever had that problem with a cat? You know, you think you’re doing the right thing and you want to go and get it in for the night so you can go to sleep and you end up running around in the garden in your slippers trying to grab the cat. It just, it goes everywhere except where you want it to.
Nathan Simmonds:
And then the moment that you go inside and create something of interest, like maybe a a treat or one of those chewy sticks, it then comes in a couple of minutes later making it look like it’s, it is its own idea rather than you actually having something of interest to it to catch a butterfly waiting for it to land on you. Absolutely. What questions have you got for me around negotiation mindset today?
Nathan Simmonds:
And if you’ve got none, say none, I’m okay with that. And then we’re gonna get into some of the structures tomorrow to start building this conversation up for you. Any questions? Yes or no? Yes Vicki, we will be going through the square dance tomorrow. We’re gonna start breaking that down over a course of a couple of days. We’ll look at the wishes and walks tomorrow and a little bit of the give and takes.
Nathan Simmonds:
Welcome Vicki. Thank you Stuart. I knew you were looking forward to this. Appreciate the you the feedback. I’m wondering about what to say. We’ve talked about what not to say in terms of I understand, et cetera. Some of that we’re gonna start to look at a little bit more. One is, this is all going on in your head anyway. Now this is, I’m wrong. You are right that’s in your own head. You don’t need to say it out loud or some people may vocalize it. This importance part again is just in your head, what’s in here.
Nathan Simmonds:
Now the content of your head is gonna dictate the content of your mouth. I think the Bible even says the content of your heart dictates the content of your mouth. So if we’re making it needy and greedy up here and we’re thinking that I need to go in for the kill or do this, the words that we’re gonna use are gonna change shape. So when we come out of this and put ourselves into a different space, we can then start to actually focus on what the other person is saying to us and we can find appreciation
Nathan Simmonds:
Or we can sort of show appreciation and find merit. So the one, the first thing is getting your head space in the right place and then coming from that place like going. And it comes back to that preparation piece again, how it is. It’s like going for a job interview. People say, oh, I’m not very good at interviews. Yeah, it’s because you only do maybe five of five of them in the hold of your life. Actually if you did more job interviews, you’d have more practice and you’d be more confident because you’d have the right tools and preparation to make it work.
Nathan Simmonds:
And it’s the same with this. If we have the right tools and the right preparation in place and we practice it maybe with our sales director or our manager, actually we can go into that con conversation a bit more confident and a bit more, a bit more wherewithal to actually get some stuff what we want and help other people get what they need as well at the same time and create the win-win. You’re welcome Howard. Absolute pleasure. Conscious of time. On a scale of one to 10, one being used, there’s 10 being phenomenal. How useful was today?
Nathan Simmonds:
Thank you very much. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Thank you. Tomorrow we’re gonna break down the structure. I have put the link in the chat box for tomorrow’s session. You have the link in there for the negotiation preparation sheet. You have the link in there for tomorrow’s session. If you have not already signed up for tomorrow’s session, it is in the box now. Do that straight after this session.
Nathan Simmonds:
I’m gonna share one more link with you. He says, to help support you continuing to build this skillset before we get in. Oh, I’ve got really, sadly I can’t attend tomorrow. I have to work. Absolutely. Look, we’ll have the replay register for it because then you’ll get a copy of the recording emailed to you. So when you have stopped working, you can watch it. Then I’ve also shared the link in the chat box for the ultimate Guide to Negotiation.
Nathan Simmonds:
So you’ve got some, you’ve got three really decent links in there. One for preparation sheet and, and the square dance understanding that I’m sharing with you today. And tomorrow and Monday you’ve got the link for tomorrow’s session and you’ve also got the ultimate guide there to negotiation as well. Some great content, some great value adds in there to support you in your negotiation skills. And finally, as always, virtual classrooms.
Nathan Simmonds:
Who in your teams, in your businesses would benefit from a conversation or some additional training around negotiation skills? Who do you know in your teams that would benefit from negotiation skills? Whether it’s to get a pay rise, whether it’s to to help with a sales negotiation, whether it’s preparation to help get your children to sleep at night. Who in your teams do you know would benefit from an additional training around negotiation skills?
Nathan Simmonds:
‘Cause Right now, now we have the virtual classrooms. You can go onto our website, you can pick up and you can see the list, the full list of trainings we do there for our virtual everyone. But I have to convince, yeah, absolutely everyone needs negotiation skills in some way, shape or form. And yes, you do have to convince your boss that will be your first negotiation.
Nathan Simmonds:
So when you go back to work, your first action after this is to negotiate with your boss, how you get me into deliver more negotiation training for your business to help them improve their bottom line, increase the return on investment, and help them be better than they were yesterday. I hope this is an action you’re going to carry forward. The link there is for the virtual classrooms. If you know, I can help you with any of the skills there or the MBM team can help with.
Nathan Simmonds:
Click on the link, go and see what we’re, what is available, what we offer, and how we can help you. Hope that’s been useful. I hope you’ve had fun today. That’s your first negoti. That’s a good comeback. , you are very welcome everybody. Look, have a wonderful rest of your day. I’m looking forward to spending the rest of the day with you or the sessions tomorrow. Bear with me. Just says that I’m wrapping up this session. Everybody, have a lovely rest of your day. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Thanks for being here today, it’s really appreciated and I’ll see you in the next couple of sessions. Thanks very much. Bye.
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