What is Interpersonal Savvy?
Savvy is an interesting word. It can mean a few different things depending on its context but, here, it means to have ‘practical knowledge’ and be able to pass ‘good judgement’. At least, this is what Google says. To be savvy in something is to be able to make things happen. You don’t just know it, you use it. Practical Knowledge.
Now, interpersonal is another interesting word. One that’s only really mattered in the last few years, maybe four to five perhaps. It’s new and we think we all understand it. The truth is, however, that your ‘interpersonal’ skills are your communication skills. They feel a lot more important when put like that. Everyone knows how crucial communication skills are. When you turn interpersonal into communication things tend to get dismissed much less.
It’s All About the Interactions
So, your interpersonal savvy, now we have broken it down, is your practical knowledge in how you interact with others. All interaction is communication which is why your communication skills are so important here. Your conversations, your zoom calls, meetings and even simple passings-by are all utilizing your interpersonal skills. The reason I mention passings-by, or just small interactions, is because they don’t feel important. Your five-sentence conversation with a colleague in the hallway is never going to change your life, right? Well, maybe it could. Of course, any conversation could change your life but I mention these small ones specifically because these are the interactions that define your interpersonal savvy.
The age-old phrase; ‘look after the pennies…’ rings very true here, as it does with most things in life. Picture this – you’re a manager interviewing someone for a junior role. Their interpersonal skills are fantastic! They know what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. They nail the interview. A few days later, you see them in the corridor having just hired them. You stop to talk, they give you nothing. They are cagey, slightly distracted and just plain not fun to talk to. That tiny interaction will tint your view of that person forevermore. Now, picture it the other way around… the small interaction still wins. It’s the hallway conversations that define your people skills.
So, Why Strive to Improve These Skills?
A great question. Thank you. Really it’s down to a multitude of things that depend on your goals and desires. Great interpersonal skills will help you nail interviews, become more respected at work, improve relationships outside of work and generally become a better communicator. If any of these reasons sound like things you might want, read on.
Nailing interviews is tough as I am sure you have experienced. People believe it’s about your career history, work experience and work ethic as well as how much knowledge you can spout in a twenty-minute interview. It’s not. Interviews are, as much as many would not care to admit, interpersonally based. Whether you are the utmost qualified candidate or a fresh uni-graduate begging for work, it is still (and always will be) a person talking to a person.
If they don’t like who you are as a person, your CV might as well be a loo-roll. As backwards as it may seem, the hiring process is never blind and will always come down to the bottom line – who you are. Improving your interpersonal savvy will help you use what is on your CV to ‘woo’ your potential employers with a personality that they just cannot resist… hopefully.
Improving your relationships is also a great benefit of improving these skills. Interpersonal skills are basically the foundation of all your relationships. It’s what keeps them alive, the way you treat each other. Improving your interpersonal savvy will only help this thrive. Simply knowing great ways to show someone your appreciation of them or, for the less-favoured times, ways to navigate conflict and resolve problems with less emotion, are both great skills to have.
A Quick Story…
A good friend of mine, Roy, is the sort of man that knows everyone who is anyone in the area. Roy is probably the best example of excellent interpersonal savvy I know. I have been to a few networking events with Roy and people just seem to gravitate towards him. One of his biggest strengths is bringing people together. Just about every connection or contact I have made in the last year is through Roy. I tell him something I am after and he’ll somehow manage to find the perfect person for me to talk to.
His incredible people skills shine straight through here. He treats people with the utmost respect, yet also commands it himself. He talks to a room full of people and makes them all laugh, yet is also great to get one-to-one with and discuss important matters. This versatility is why Roy is so great with people. He is like a group of people you’d go to each member of for something different, but it’s all him.
Adaptability is Your New Best Friend
In an interpersonal case study, someone like Roy is exactly who we would be studying. He had made me aware of specific ways to conduct myself between differing situations. He talks about business when things are important and becomes a class clown when they are not so much. Being adaptable to so many different types of situations is key to cracking your interpersonal savvy. A big piece of advice, a takeaway from seeing Roy do his thing, is to just put yourself in a room with a lot of people. Networking events are great for this but can be draining. Social gatherings, parties and office-dos are all great places to just talk and get better at adapting yourself to quickly changing situations.
For those that feel they want to dive a little deeper into this adaptability – have a quick search for ‘Neuro-linguistic programming’, a great tool for learning how to adapt socially.
OK, But What Can I Do to Improve These Skills?
There is plenty you can do. I would say that the biggest piece of advice for this is exactly what I just mentioned. Think of it as on-the-job training. Put yourself in a situation where interpersonal skills are paramount. Go along to a networking event just to see how well you can adapt to each conversation. Try to seamlessly slot in to groups of people. Great interpersonal savvy is required for this, trying and failing is the best way to gain these practical skills.
Aside from this, we do have a few actionable tips for you so you can get started right away.
Three Actionable Tips for Improving Your Interpersonal Savvy:
1. Identify What Needs Improving
This is a sort of piggyback from my promotion of the on-the-job training technique. It is much easier to pinpoint your weaknesses, especially in your people skills, when you can see them in action. This is, of course, much easier said than done. I have effectively just asked you to voluntarily go forth and commit social suicide. So, for the bold ones, good luck!
For the not so bold, try and pinpoint these weaknesses in your everyday interactions. Give yourself a week and identify one thing a day that you think would have made that particular interaction or conversation go better. Maybe you felt you should have articulated your ideas better. Perhaps you were tired and you are worried that it came across as being uninterested. Or maybe you felt too eager and upbeat for the situation. All of these things are possible and identifying them will show you exactly what needs to be improved.
For example, if you did feel you should have articulated your ideas better, you could give yourself a minute to get it straight in your head first before putting it forward. Simply highlighting the fact that your idea is a little half-baked before offering it up would help next time. Interpersonal savvy is all about being aware. Be aware of the fact that you might struggle a bit with organising your ideas before saying them, so have some humility and just say that. It’s not about being the best speaker in the world, it’s about being aware of how you are coming across in your interaction – that is what matters.
2. Be Open for a Day
Another tip that favours the bold. Before you stroll into the office one day, say to yourself that you are going to be more open and forthcoming that day. Let it all out. The easiest people to talk to are the ones that have the most to share. Do not be afraid to be yourself at work. I feel that many employees apply a sort of persona at work. Everyone has their ‘work laugh’ and that special voice for answering the phone to their boss. Pick a day and just drop it all.
People will find you much more approachable, much easier to talk to and all around more confident. Confidence extended outwardly improves people’s confidence in you, too. That is an important thing to remember. The point of this is to help you realise that everyone is subconsciously aware of this office guard we have up all the time at work. Letting it down will release a whole new interpersonally-skilled person. Simply getting rid of the guard improves your interpersonal savvy tenfold. Give it a shot.
3. Take the ‘Feedback Leap of Faith’
Receiving feedback on anything when it is not directly offered to you is a leap of faith. You put yourself in a position to be disheartened and completely shot down. Of course, we all know that receiving feedback is still one of the most important ingredients for improvement. So, just ask. Ask your boss how they think you did in that online conference. Ask your colleague to listen to your presentation and give you feedback on how you come across before you present. These seem like obvious things but asking for feedback is something that requires real self-confidence – which is not something we all possess.
Taking this leap of faith, however, can open you up to many new ways to improve. We need to know what to improve on before we can improve and taking your feedback leap of faith is a great way to do it.
To Summarise…
- Identify your weaknesses in order to work on them.
- Be bold and be open for a day.
- Take your feedback leap of faith.
These three things are very useful tools and tips to help kickstart your ‘project: interpersonal savvy’ today. There are a plethora of reasons to improve these skills but arguably the most important one is time. We live in an era more connected to each other than we have ever been before. This means that people skills, how we treat each other, and how we communicate are all more important than ever before.
It is no different to recognising the increasing demand for computer coding in this generation and putting yourself through a C++ course. It makes you have a higher value – more likely to be in demand. Your interpersonal savvy is exactly the same. Whilst there is no certificate to say ‘I am qualified in people…’, the demand for this skill still remains. The good thing is that the lack of physical qualification is not the end of the world. In an interview, your interpersonal skills will be noticed instantly. Within your first three second impressions, a potential employer subconsciously knows whether you have got that certificate or not.
So, treat interpersonal savvy the same as every other skill. Improve it, hone it and utilise it as much as you can. Watch as it improves your everyday working life.
